[00:00:19] Hi, everyone. Welcome to Kean on You Podcast with Andrea and Kemba. We are here this evening with Tonya and Brine Hamilton, who are the hosts of the Disrupt the Every Day Podcast. We’ve worked with them off and on, and they are awesome. And you should listen to their Podcast every chance you get. Tonya and Brine, can you just introduce yourselves a little bit? Tell us about you. For sure. I’m Brine Hamilton. My wife, Tony, and I have been married for 14 years next month.
[00:00:50] So we’re excited about your milestone. We are the parents of four kids. Like you said, we are the hosts of The Disrupt the Everyday Podcast. I also host a couple of other podcasts that are specifically related to the field that I spent 15 years in, which is Healthcare Security. And aside from that, I work full time with ONGO software as a system engineer. Honey, if you want to take it from there.
[00:01:12] Yes, I am home right now. This summer. I am off work, but typically I have a home daycare and full time with that. And we have a lot of stuff on our plates right now. But the one thing that I find works is we’re really good. I think you’re going with this task. You take it and you’re good with this. So you take that.
[00:01:31] We’re pretty good at balancing it all and delegating everything and making it work. Yeah, that’s awesome. Well, Brine, we just learned something new. So you do have other Podcasts that you do, which is awesome. So I guess it helps the one that you’ve built those for you. And Tonya, what was the purpose in The function of disrupting the everyday?
[00:01:55] I guess to kind of circle back. So I started my first podcast, the health care security cost, again, focused on health care security at the very end of 2019, going into the pandemic. It was challenging getting people to use the technology to do these interviews, but then the pandemic hit and came really easy. So to this point, I just released episode one hundred and twelve today. They gave me a good foundation for what Tonya and I are doing. Yes. So I was doing that when I co-host another one with a
[00:02:21] Peer of mine in Georgia and I wanted to talk about something other than security. So I ran the idea by Tonya. She knows how much time podcasting and editing takes. So it was one of those things that was going to be a bit of a time strain on me. So she threw out the idea of, hey, why don’t we do this together?
[00:02:37] So I liked that idea. We worked on finding a name, so we ended up deciding to disrupt the everyday one because it was unique and it wasn’t going to lead people to another podcast. And that’s kind of the purpose of what we wanted to do with it. We want to disrupt the status quo is what we say. We want to help people navigate life while disrupting the status quo. The thought behind it is that we want to bring on people such as yourselves. You guys were guests On the podcast, but to share some expertise and somethings that people can learn from have really naturally flowing organic
[00:03:06] Conversations that are beneficial For the people listening. And the nice part is that he put in all the heavy lifting when he started his podcast and all the research in the time. So it hasn’t been that much for me. I had to have a little learning curve, but we really just jumped in with everything because of his knowledge. So it’s been nice to not have to spend all that background time.
[00:03:30] That’s amazing. And so you do your own editing? Yes.
[00:03:34] He had said when we started this, you’re going to have to take over because obviously he’s busy and I procrastinated a little bit. And you sort of have that tendency sometimes. The last three I’ve edited
[00:03:45] And it takes me a longer time than him, but it’s getting done. So hopefully I can be as fast as him.
[00:03:51] That’s awesome. Yeah, that is awesome. It is super time consuming as the technical side of the team sometimes. I tried that for a little bit and It just technically Didn’t work. So I totally Understand what you mean.
[00:04:08] You have to podcast. You have full time jobs, a summer off is One thing, but
still you’re working and you have four kids. So it’s great that you guys have the ability to delegate and so on. But where do you find
[00:04:18] Your challenge the most in juggling all what you have going on?
[00:04:22] Is it two podcasts or three? It sounded like you had two business related.
[00:04:27] Yeah. Yes. Right. And one you have now with you and your wife,
[00:04:31] I have three. And then a guest host, another one for a company in the U.S. may be guest hosting another one as well. So we’ll see if that helps.
[00:04:46] I love once we figure it out and learn. I think it was Covid Kemba that really pushed us to realize that Podcasting was another way to dispense information and to Interact and learn from others.
[00:05:05] Yeah, for sure. And I mean, hey, it’s a blessing when you are sponsored as well. Right. That helps and that helps keep it going.
[00:05:13] And that makes all the hard work. Also a nice benefit going back to Kemba’s question. The biggest thing for us is the delegation. But just knowing the strength that we have. So, yes, I am off this summer, but pretty much I am redesigning our home. I’ve never done something like this before.
[00:05:32] So that all in itself, it’s a learning curve. Plus, we started that during this last lockdown where like you can go into a store. So we ordered everything for our bathroom online, not seeing it, not one thing. So it takes time, but it’s OK. I like designing. I like all that kind of stuff. I’m excited
[00:05:49] To see our vision come out and come into play. So it’s like, OK, I’ll take that on. Brine, you take this on when you have a few spare seconds and we go from there. So I find that to be a positive and helpful with the balancing. Mm hmm.
[00:06:06] I think another thing for me, too, is I really have to leverage my calendar. If it’s not there, it’s probably not going to get done.
[00:06:12] Yes, I agree, because it sounds like a lot of similarities from one thing to the next. Right. The podcasting, but it’s still a lot of friends that you are taking on.
[00:06:22] So what do you guys do for fun then in terms of all this busy-ness? What do you do for fun?
[00:06:27] Well, I am definitely the social butterfly, so we always joke back to like when we were first dating. And Brine is very content being at home and being in his environment. Right. So when we were freezing, no kids, nothing like that. Like Friday night would come and I would see him. And I’m like, this is our list for the whole weekend of all the places we got to go and that we’d been invited to. And that was a big change for him.
[00:06:52] And he went with it. Not for very long.
[00:06:54] No, no, not for very long. And then I put a stop to that. Yeah. Kids come into place. Obviously, that becomes way more difficult. And when you’re working Monday to Friday, like you just don’t have time for all that. Family and friends are very important. So, you know, spending time with them and not being obviously tricky during Covid and stuff. But now we’re starting to get back into that game, which is fun.
[00:07:24] We love hosting and having people over. So that’s a big thing and just threw a lot of family time. And I’m sort of the one that’s like the time is not being divided
Equally and stuff like that. I will gently remind and say, hey, we got to like all day like Saturday or Sunday or whatever. We got to be in there with the kids and stuff like that. But the family time with the kids. But then I think it’s
[00:07:38] Good that we divvy up our individual time. So going out with friends, just myself and him, meeting up with friends for lunch or dinner or what have you, and then having date nights on a regular basis. So you try to keep it balanced. For the most part, it works.
[00:07:55] My going out with friends is way more than him because again, he’s content being home significantly more and content just having some quiet time.
[00:08:03] Yeah, that’s what you sort of started with, right? You know, each other’s strengths. You know what makes the other happy, right.
[00:08:15] Wouldn’t love it. That’s good that you guys support each other in that way. And I know how we met because, you know, we were talking about Investing and you came on and sort of started learning with some of what we’re doing. What about that aspect of things in terms of your investing?
[00:08:30] That’s a big job to take on something like that. So how do you fit something extra in when you’re already so busy?
[00:08:37] Yeah, it’s just prioritizing it, right. Again, everybody has the same 24 hours in a day and it’s just in how you use it. So that’s been something that we’ve been really, really putting a lot of work in on just setting up these
[00:08:49] Virtual tours, because all the places that we’re looking at right now, we’re out of the province. So, you know, setting up these virtual showings, connecting with the agents in these different cities.
[00:08:57] So doing all of that, it makes it a little bit easier just doing all of it through email. So that makes it a little bit easier.
[00:09:02] You know, you can passively respond when you have time. That’s been helpful, but it’s still challenging nonetheless. But again, it’s a priority for us. So we’re just, I guess, kind of making it work. You know, I have a coach who
[00:09:11] Said to me, I see you as a guy who builds a car while you’re driving it. That’s kind of who I am. And that’s kind of how we’ve been as a couple as well. Like we just OK, we want to do this.
[00:09:21] We don’t know how to do it, but we’re going to do it. If it doesn’t work, we’ll go back to the drawing board and try again. And that’s how it’s been. That’s just how we do things. And, hey, sometimes I don’t think it’s necessarily premature, but sometimes it’s like you just gotta jump and give it a try, do your research, you do all the background information stuff and jump in and see what happens.
[00:09:42] But this Is definitely Brine’s Project, baby. That’s one of the things I was like.
[00:09:47] I actually can’t take on any more right now because I got to make sure like I have flooring here for when the run team comes and you know, and the other day I forgot to order a faucet from Amazon. So then I would run into Home Depot and. Pained me so much to be like almost three hundred dollars for a fosset when I could have got one on Amazon. Right. And it’s just that I miss that when I was ordering things and it’s too much. So I was like, you’re going to do this. We both know what it is we’re looking for. Let me know when you have something scheduled and I’ll come down and I’ll check it out for the most part. I’m passing this one over to you.
[00:10:22] And that’s a lot about Trust, right? And following through, I mean, sometimes that’s hard in relationships where your partner is like you delegate and you’re wired is the part and I’m going to do it or not.
[00:10:34] If you guys support each other and where one falls short. So that’s an amazing thing that you’re able to have such teamwork. I definitely agree with that. And I think when both people have the
[00:10:48] Same goal, the same mindset and the same interests, then it’s easier for you to be like it’s all yours. Come back, because we’ve already talked he’s not going to look for a single detached house because we know we would like a Multi unit home. Right. So we know the price range, we know the locations, all that kind of stuff. So it’s not going to be a surprise, I guess.
[00:11:09] Working from home changed anything for you or have you both always been doing that anyway? Before I opened my home daycare, I worked at Children’s Aid for many years. And so, you know, I was running like a crazy Lady out the door every morning trying to get the kids to daycare. You know, he was commuting so him being home has actually been a benefit.
[00:11:39] You’re here in body so I can run out to the Grocery store and you’re here. The kids will be fine. Right. And then I had to remember, no, you’re actually working. I have to just look at you that you’re here, but you’re not here. I can’t really depend on you for anything, because this is a work day. So as soon as I was able to switch that thought process, it worked a lot easier. So, yeah, it’s been nice. And then we’re doing home daycare this year and not being able to go to any playgroups library and that kind of stuff, where I got a social interaction
[00:12:09] From other ladies and Caregivers and stuff. It was nice just to know, you know, when he came up for lunch, there was another adult here. Hey, how’s it going? Somebody can talk to you just even if it was only for a few minutes before the next meeting.
[00:12:21] It’s actually worked out pretty good. I’m not going to lie. Yeah and my previous job, I was doing a lot of driving, so I got a lot of my life back in that sense by taking on this new role. I started the job that I’m in now. Back in September. So, yeah, exactly.
[00:12:36] So it’s freed up a lot of time just by not commuting, because I took up so much of my day. And I think the biggest impact it’s had is my sleep, because I’m actually getting a full night’s sleep now, whereas I hadn’t been you know, I don’t know how long it was, really, but it seemed like I was running on four to six hours sleep for a number of years. So it’s been a refreshing change.
[00:12:52] And I think the difference is like when you’re actually working together, that can be tricky. Or like if I was working at home and needed an office space and all that, I could see that becoming stressful at times. Right. But because my job doesn’t need any of that kind of stuff, it’s like I have my space where I have my daycare. You have your space. That definitely takes away a lot of the stresses.
[00:13:17] Yeah, I get that. My husband is now back at work full time now. He’s back to his commute but any time he is home and working from home, we would always have a conflict of who’s working from which office and who is in the best spot. Because his job is different to mine, it will always be like figuring it out.
[00:13:38] That’s good that you guys have been able to have separate spaces and respect each other’s spaces in that way. That’s amazing. Yeah. And so in terms I think you mentioned One thing that is a good mindset. You’re always on the same page and
[00:13:52] Thinking the same. So how do you keep your mindset clear and how do you stay on the same page? I think it’s just the communication where essentially for the most part, we’re here. So there’s not really an excuse for us not to communicate with each other and you know, really ironed out the things where we may have a difference of opinion, where we need to come to some kind of alignment or some kind of agreement. It just talking through it and making sure that we’re on the
[00:14:16] Same page, really, I think that’s how I can sum that up, is basically just the communication piece, Which is important. Well, really, in any relationship, in a Marriage, in a working relationship communication is key and I think this would be Brine, he’s all about goal setting and always has this book that he’s writing in and notetaking and stuff like that. And so he usually has one.
[00:14:35] Ok, what’s up? What’s the Plan like? What are we doing next? And, you know, what are our goals for a year from now, five years from now? Right.
[00:14:42] And sometimes those Conversations can get heated because, oh, whoa, I didn’t realize, you know, something changed or what have you. Right. But you got to talk through it and figure it out. At the end of the day, when it comes to liking the whole financial thing, everybody sees that differently in regards to. You share an account, do you have your separate accounts?
[00:15:02] Whatever, and, you know, all the power to everybody with whatever decision you make, but we share ours. And I Find for us It works really well, because then you see what’s happening. You see if somebody’s spending more. Which would most likely be me. You see, you know, all that kind of stuff. And then that helps. Do we like getting closer to our goal by doing A, B and C?
[00:15:25] I love how you guys are taking accountability and owning. I love it. Yeah, it’s me.
[00:15:33] Oh, it usually is the female, I must say. Usually it is the women. Tonya, you’re not alone. I don’t agree with my situation by any means. My husband might disagree, but I do agree that in general, as women, you may be responsible for more things such as the household and the kids in school. You’re not spending frivolously.
[00:15:57] They’re necessary expenses. But I heard it. I’m like you. I would rather buy the one hundred or less than one hundred dollar faucet on Amazon than the Most at Home Depot. Right. So you are trying to wear and possibly make sure that you spend wisely. And of course, you still want the best faucet. The three hundred dollar one sometimes may make sense anyways, because one thing I’ve learned about Fosset, I must tell you, after multiple, multiple property, those nice, shiny, you know, pull out the thing
[00:16:28] One on a rental property, they don’t make any sense. Almost always in no time at all. The tenant has broken it or it’s been damaged. And so we just go with the American standard or some really good solid name. And it comes in under a hundred bucks. Right. And it will last us literally ten plus years compared to the nice fancy one that we spent two, three hundred dollars on some time to last this, like a year and a half, two years max. And we need stand when you have four kids.
[00:16:57] That’s what I’m looking at. I’m thinking, OK, what is going to stand up between four kids in and out of that kitchen or in the shower? That’s right. So absolutely. When you’re redesigning and you’re updating, you have to make purchases that make sense not just for look, but functionality and the use and war on terror from little hands and maybe not even just that the hands are, because I find even as my husband, he’s a little bit more rougher on things than I am. And so absolutely, things just tend to wear down a little bit faster with forehands or sets of small people. Absolutely.
[00:17:32] That’s awesome. You guys are inspiring. A lot of people with your podcast, and you’re inspiring us for sure. I love this topic. What you come out with every week. I’ve been taking notes while you’re talking. And I definitely think you have tips for couples, if you might. I can read my notes just and you can tell me if I missed it, but you know, you guys are
- Great at delegating,
- you know, each other’s strengths.
- You’re good at prioritizing what needs to happen and
- You like to jump in, which I felt was awesome that you said that
- You don’t waste time with action takers.
[00:18:13] Which is Beautiful and then I like driving the car while building it. Nice analogy. And you go ahead and you communicate, which is just phenomenal because that’s a lot of relationships break down and people get frustrated.
[00:18:28] You missed a really good one too Kemba. They spoke of how they manage their finances together, which honestly, Brine. Yeah, I totally agree with you. You do it any which way that works for you. But I agree with my household as well. I find that it works, that it’s together. And, yes, it means that there’s a little bit more eyes on what each of us are doing, but it’s almost accountability so that we do stay on track for our goals and hit those targets. In my scenario, I know it’s me keeping it.
[00:18:57] I hear it. Brine is kind of hoping it’s going to stay on track and writing them down but the finances is a huge part of the success that I think you’re seeing and we’re seeing. I do agree.
[00:19:18] And disclaimer like obviously we are not perfect. That sounds well. Right. And believe me, we’ve learned as we went. If you were to talk to us. Ok, so our twins are nine. So going back nine years ago, that was absolute mayhem of the year.
[00:19:24] And I learned not because of the twins, it was before the twins. I guess I could have been, too. It’s like being pregnant. And then once we had them, You learn as you go. You don’t want to offend your spouse. You don’t want to make the magnis.
[00:19:38] Oh, God forbid you feel like it’s the end of a marriage. But I’ve learned I’ve even I guess you could say invol where if there was something that was bothering me at some point to be like, you never, never, never read, ever, whatever or what have you. But now I’ve learned to switch things around OK, you know what? Like it’s also the tone that I’ve learned to like having a social work. If you would think I wouldn’t know this. It’s different when it comes to your own marriage and relationships.
[00:20:04] But like when you find that things work a lot better when you come at it from a gentle standpoint of, hey, you know what? The last couple of nights you’ve worked a little bit later and you haven’t been upstairs for dinner, remember? That’s something that’s really important to us and a value in our family. Can you try to make that a priority the rest of this week?
[00:20:21] Right. Compared to you, you haven’t been upstairs for dinner. Where are you? Blah, blah, blah. Because that’s not going to get you anywhere. I learned not to rain so, you know, we definitely grown over that time. But once you figure out a good groove, I find that definitely helps.
[00:20:36] Now, I think the value in what you said, there are two is that one thing that a lot of people will quickly overlook by just the value in actually staying together and working through the tough times? Because even when you look at it from a financial standpoint, the people who tend to do better financially are the people who stay together for a long time. If we look at where we were when we got married or even when we met, I was working as a security guard in a basement apartment with my Toyota Tercel that I had to make hand signals and because the indicators didn’t work, making eleven dollars an hour so that’s where we kind of started.
[00:21:08] When Tonya first met me, I was in that basement apartment. I had a futon at a TV from an abandoned electronics store in the mall I worked at that was sitting on a box. So we’ve come a long way from that. But it was just because we stayed together. I think if our marriage had ended at any point in the last 14 years, I don’t think either of us would be in the position we are now. That would be a big strain.
[00:21:27] And I think people overlook that in our society has made it so easy for people to give up on marriage and really paint this picture that the grass is going to be greener on the other side. And I think there’s a little bit of a mistruth there as well. I just think there’s a lot of great value in staying together and building something with somebody. Marriage is again, it’s never going to be perfect. You have to imperfect people just trying to do the best they can.
[00:21:49] I think a big part of that is just understanding that things aren’t going to be perfect. So there’s things that you’re just going to either have to figure out how to deal with or maybe you need to make a change if your partner is going to be able to change in some way so still a lot there.
[00:22:02] I think I went off track from what you actually asked, but I think that we’re giving tips. We were sort of, you know, summarizing and giving tips as to how, you know, you’ve been able to balance and be successful at not just your Podcasts, but just life, you know, managing children and home and family and marriage, which I mean, all of them need work, like Tonya said, you know, even just reminding you gently to be a part of the meal, because really, When you think about the time that you spend with family outside of work, it’s very limiting. And usually something like a meal or dinner or whatever is what kind of brings us together at the end of the day or end of the week.
[00:22:50] I think it is important that we recognize how if we start off as a couple, how successful will be if we can stick it out and follow through, because financially, I think that marriage does break down not just the finances for someone, but their credit and their ability to restart, especially if you’ve got children in there as well. It really makes it very hard to be successful financially.
[00:23:07] One last thing, I guess, for that is there’s something to be said about starting somewhere and then reaching goals along the way and being able to celebrate when you both have worked your behinds off to get there. Right. Finally buy your first house. The situation that made you get there wasn’t the greatest. You had to sacrifice a lot, but then you finally get him who you moved to. The second house is like the same thing.
[00:23:32] Right and I guess that’s my point. It’s way more exciting. You’re celebrating those accomplishments with somebody beside you, that’s for sure.
[00:23:39] Yes, I agree. And I mean, you’re on to your next big accomplishment, which is a rental property. Know that you have so much more strengths and skill set and finances that you’re bringing to this.
[00:23:51] So it makes it more attainable but even the success of it is still just as big and important as that big hurdle the first time around, because there’s just all these other new with respect to a rental property, even we said out of province, right? Yeah. Oh, it’s definitely not like next door in the same city. So I think you’re right.
[00:24:11] These are amazing tips to share with people and to remind people to stay together, especially I think in our community, especially in black and caribbean. I think it’s so important for us to really keep that in mind that it’s not easier and greener on the other side.
[00:24:33] Absolutely. I think you guys were very open and shared a lot of amazing tips because you don’t always get to see inside someone’s marriage. I mean, there’s all these reality shows that I think are exaggerated about what everyday people go through. But I do think that what you’ve shared is very helpful to hear.
[00:24:54] And I hope we have a few male listeners. We definitely have, you know, the women, because of that. To our list, those generally are, but to hear couples and how you can learn from what other people are doing and how they’re managing and balancing it all, because sometimes and especially through the pandemic, it was a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. And I haven’t heard it much lately, but there was a lot of talk of marriages breaking down during the pandemic, you know, where people just couldn’t take it. They hadn’t seen their spouse in years. And now it’s too much all as I’d like to before it did become not even just because you were seeing them more, but just because you were so in such tight quarters.
[00:25:36] And like you said, Tonya had to it was nice having Brine come up and sort of interact with you on the side of the kids. It’s a different interaction, but it’s also different to always be around the same person all the time. And for some people, the space was too small, you know, for sure. And then you add in like financial stress to that.
[00:25:57] Yes. Like with all those different stressful factors, I definitely just made a snowball of a potential disaster rain. We’re on the up and right out there. You’ve made it this far. You might as well keep going. Just keep going. Can you tell us, like, how would you like people to reach out to you or follow?
[00:26:18] The best way to reach out to us, both of us are on LinkedIn. So it’s Bryne, be our I and Hamilton. So I’m the only Brine Hamilton on any social media platform, really. So I’m easy to find.
[00:26:31] And Tonya Hamilton, just the way it sounds. The podcast is Disrupt the every day. If you just do a search and any podcast catcher or again on LinkedIn, we have our page for the Podcast www.DisrupttheEveryday.com. It’s really easy to find, but best way to reach out to us is probably Linkedin. I’m pretty active there.
[00:26:49] And if you add me as a connection, if you send me a message, I’ll get back to you at some point. It may not be right away, but I will respond.
[00:26:55] Nice. That’s awesome.
[00:26:56] Do you usually just guess, do people reach out to you to be a guest or do you usually select who you want to be guests?
[00:27:02] No, it’s been nice. Like when we first started, I did a lot of background research and stuff like that, but now I still doing that. But we’ve actually got a few referrals in the last little while. People who would be great guest on our show. So that’s been
[00:27:15] Great. We do have a spot on our website where you can fill out the Information and also just send us an email or a DM message or whatever, and we’ll get in and We’d love to chat. I think that’s actually one of the really neat aspects of the podcast is the connections we made. Like even meeting you. You know, you go and you think you’re just going to have a conversation, spend 45 minutes to an hour and it’s continued. Right.
[00:27:39] And that’s been that way for quite a few of the guests that we’ve had and we’ve learned so much from them. Right. So it’s actually been a win-win, really. I agree, it gives you an opportunity to make new friends and new connections and build relationships for sure.
[00:27:56] Absolutely. It’s been a good mix of people reaching out to us and us reaching out to individuals.
[00:28:00] So either one works if you have something to share, which I think pretty much everybody has something. Well, thanks for coming on, Andrea. Why don’t you share how everyone can reach us?
[00:28:10] Yeah. So thanks, everyone, for joining us today. Brine and Tonya, you did a fantastic Job sharing, Getting real personal. I love that. So we can be found on Instagram at www.instagram.com/kean.on.you Or you can visit our website at www.keangroup.ca And of course, we’re on all other social platforms.
[00:28:37] See you soon. Hey, guys. So you just listen to our podcast and we are so excited that you took the time and we really appreciate you. And if you’re interested in anything from one on one coaching educational programs, we have our Secrets to Success in Real Estate course. If you need help with tenant selection, property management, send us an email, an admin lapkin group Dossie, or give us a call at six seven three seven zero five three to six. We’re looking forward to hearing from you. Thanks so much.
